Fat Kid’s Ironman Fitness Blog

Phil’s got a problem… I’m back!

Two weeks off… sitting around… eating… watching TV… drinking margaritas… and scotch… Don’t call it recovery… Call it vacation. Call it, the 2 weeks a year where I am not out exercising 1.75 hours per day average. Call it… the lull before the storm… Call it… the tranquility that fools the unwise into believing that they can mouth off about their own ability to WALK… (yeah, you read that right)… WALK… faster than I can RUN.

But… sorry Phil… you’ve got a problem… and it’s coming on fast… coming on strong… and in slightly more than 60 days… you are going to be sorry you ever opened your mouth… and started flapping.

Here’s where your problem starts… I’m fat… yep… I’m 12lbs heavier than my fighting weight… Tipped the scales at 147.5lbs tonight (after my run you’re about to hear about and start crying over)… Don’t get me wrong… I’m not about to start complaining or making excuses. I’m just setting the stage so you can understand how much trouble you’re really in.

Let’s see… this weekend… we went to the wedding of a dear family friend. That meant lots of partying… lots of drinking… ridiculous amounts of food. And seeing how I’ve decided to cut dairy out of my diet for the next 30 days… this was my last harrah… possibly for the rest of my life… I may never each cheese or ice cream again. So I made a point of eating every milk product I saw for 20 miles.

We stopped at Bugerville a couple times… LARGE milkshakes… double cheese burgers with extra cheese. The main dish at the wedding was a cheese lasagna… which I had to wash down with cheese balls and cheese spread and cubes of cheese. We were in Oregon cheese country after all.

We went to our favorite pond-o-cheese Mexican restaurant tonight, El Ranchon… and I order the large plate of cheese with cheese and cheese on the side. Truth be told… I don’t think I want to eat cheese again for another month… I almost think I’ve had my fill.

But with all this backdrop… I went for my first run in two weeks. I didn’t have a lot of time… so I needed to run quickly… but I will admit, I feel like a cheese ball stuffed with cheese and wrapped in cheese. Good God man… my pants don’t fit. But I was going to run.

This is the part of the story where Phil needs to get scared. He’ll be scared if he has a brain… but he is a man… so I know his ego will do it’s best to shut his brain down.

You see, Phil has decided to mouth off about how he can WALK a half marathon faster than I can run a full marathon. Does that sound easy to you? First of all… walking 13.1 miles is not actually very easy to do. I’d much rather run 13.1 miles than walk 13.1 miles… But walking 13.1 miles “quickly”… that’s another story… Walking quickly takes skill, it takes practice, some might say it takes CONDITIONING. You see, walking is hard on your shins. Especially walking further than say 3 miles… and walking quickly further than 3 miles is really hard.

Apparently ten years ago… a younger… skinner… guy named Phil… walked 13.1 miles in 3 hours 8 minutes. Not bad… seriously, my hat’s off to that guy. Too bad that guy doesn’t share an office with me. Too bad that guy isn’t going to attempt to walk the Las Vegas Half Marathon on Dec. 2.

But today… a fatter… slower… not worked out in 2 weeks… spent the last 3 days eating nothing but cheese… guy named Brad went for a run. He wasn’t feeling that sharp (not like the cheese he’d been eating for the last 3 days)… He was feeling slow… and fat… and bloated…

He started running… down the hill from his house… on to the trail… in the rain… no one else around… not a good day to run… oh… beep beep… one mile down… not feeling too good… let’s check the time. Oh my… 7:22… hmmm…. let’s keep running… not feeling so good… I’ll probably slow down… keep running… beep beep… mile two… 7:05… hmmm… let’s take a walk break… 20 seconds… start running… keep running… mile 3 (including the walk break)… 7:22… turn around… can I run a negative split… feeling slow… blah blah… check the watch half way through mile 4… 7:30… slowing down… that’s no good… let’s run a little faster… pick it up… coming up to mile 4… 7:11… ahh… that’s better… keep going… negative split feels doable… almost done with mile 5 check that watch… 6:53… uh oh… too fast back it off… back it off… finish out strong… but not too strong… want to get that last mile fastest… mile 5… 7:02… damn… that’s almost too fast… last mile now… feeling good… long stride… easy now… keep it going… check the split 7:10…. need to punch it for the last mile fastest… .25 miles to go… time for the kick… go man… go… last 100 yards… check the split… 7:01… don’t fade now… go! go! go!… mile 6… 7:00.

Workout:

• Type: Run
• Date: 09/30/2007
• Time: 20:15:29
• Total Time: 00:43:05.00
• Average Heart rate: 169
• Max Heart rate: 182
• Distance: 6 miles
• Average Pace: 7:10.62/mile
• Max Pace: 7:00.07/mile

Ahh….

Let’s review:

• 6 miles… “an short little run after vacation”
• 7:11 pace… “19 seconds faster per mile than goal pace”
• negative split… “35 seconds faster for last half”
• last mile fastest… make that last 2 miles faster than any other mile.

What’s this mean for Phil?

Well… did he walk 3 miles today at faster than 14:22/mile pace? I hope he did if he wants to keep up.

How are those shins feeling Phil?

It’s good to be back!

Filed under: Gotta love tags, Kicking Dairy, Kicking Phil, Las Vegas Half Marathon, Mexican Food, Run, Weddings, betting against your friends, cheese, half marathon, how to talk your way into a world of trouble, marathon, putting your foot in your mouth, run, walking, why you should never bet against an Ironman  |  Digg! this story.  |  Leave a Comment